Starting from scratch

Staying motivated is easy when you know why you are working.

Having a dream or wanting to accomplish something is one of the most exciting things you can experience as a human being. We all have dreams. Dreams to be the best player, dreams to attend a certain school, dreams to land a certain job, dreams to become something and do something great in our lives. Realizing a dream can oftentimes mean starting from scratch. Your dreams may seem totally unrealistic to others and sometimes even to yourself. I’m here to encourage you and support you on your journey and in your wildest dreams. I remember being in elementary school when I read my first autobiography book written by Mia Hamm. Mia was my Alex Morgan. She was everything I hoped to become. I was incredibly inspired by her story and I thought someday I would too become a professional soccer player. 

I will always remember this quote and I pretty much lived my life by this quote with anything I did that I wanted to accomplish both on the field and off the field. Something within me was so determined, so persistent to realize this dream. To many, it seemed far fetched. I have a memory so clear to this day. I was watching an English Premier League match with one of my best childhood friends in middle school. At the time, Cristiano Ronaldo, my other inspiration, was playing for Manchester United. This was one of his first seasons in the league and he was absolutely crushing it. I was in awe at his skill and athleticism. I told my friend who was also a soccer player that someday I am going to be playing pro and that I would do even better than some of those guys on TV. She rebutted, “Do you know how hard that is? There is no way you could do that.” I said nothing back because there was a calmness and surety within me that knew it was going to happen. I didn’t take it personally. It made me smile and helped me turn up the heat on the fire that was already inside of me. 

I remember starting from scratch. I was a kid who grew up with a single mother just above the poverty line for the head of a five-person household. My mom worked endlessly. Sometimes she would be up before I went to school and come home after I went to bed. I remember her getting laid off twice and with only her salary to support us and her parents, looking back I really questioned how we were able to keep our house. I respected her and loved her with all my heart for the sacrifices she made and will always love her. I am so grateful that my mom introduced me to the game of soccer and was able to send me to play club soccer. She wasn’t able to make as many games as I would have liked her to but I understood why. I was going to play hard anyway because I wanted to be the best I could be and it would be nice to tell her how about my games especially if I had really good ones.

I remember not being able to stay in the same hotels as my teammates because we just couldn’t afford it. We joke from time to time about having to ride the Police Athletic League bus to games one year because that was the “poor kids” bus or having to stay in the sketchiest Motel 6’s or Super 8’s. It feels good to look back and make light of the situation and be grateful for how our circumstances shaped us instead of looking at things of the past through a dreary lens. I am eternally grateful for the teammates that took care of me and made me part of their family at tournaments, games, or practices that my mom could not take me to. 

I remember sleepless nights dreaming about what it would be for me to play at the highest level and what I needed to do to get there. As a kid, I remember constantly riding my bike miles with one soccer ball to train alone only to get kicked off the private fields at Patton Park in my hometown in Jacksonville, shortly after I started my workout. I remember in college wanting to quit soccer at least once every year because of the mental demand. I remember graduating and wanting to fulfill my dream and become a pro. I remember waking up at 5 am every weekday in the summer to train with the FIU Men’s team, then going to the gym to lift with my strength coach Jesus Gallo, then training at night with a U18 boys team. I remember thinking about where my next meal was coming from, being totally broke on the path to becoming a pro and questioning whether or not this was for me. Then, I remember signing my first contract to play in the Bundesliga 2 with a team that was on the cusp of relegation. In that short season, with enough goals and collective help, I was an integral part of keeping VFL Sindelfingen in the 2nd league by scoring 8 goals. Afterwards, I remember signing a second contract to play in Sweden and scoring goals right out of the gate with a player of the match award after just a few matches. I remember getting called to help Jamaica qualify for its first-ever World Cup. I remember fighting for air in the harsh Texas winter but somehow being able to perform and assisting the game-tying goal to send us to overtime. I remember controlling my breath as I walked up to score the 3rd penalty in the deciding match for Jamaica’s first ever qualification to the World Cup. Then, I remember standing in the Stade de Alpes in France at the 2019 Women’s World Cup thinking, “I said I was going to do this and I really did it.” 

People do not accomplish their goals not because they lack the wherewithal but because they literally talk themselves out of their own dreams by finding more reasons as to why they cannot do something rather than finding reasons they can. 

If you want something badly, you will find a way no matter what your circumstance is.

I could have made a million and one excuses. My family’s financial situation, my goal's level of difficulty, the state of women’s sports, injuries, whatever, you name it. I had more solutions than problems and I wasn’t interested in finding more problems or wallowing in my own excuses. I only focused on what I could directly control and forgot about things that I could not. My attitude, my work ethic, my discipline, my practice, my outlook, and everything internal was what I controlled. If there was not a clear way for me to do something or get somewhere, I would make one. When I was 10 years old after I read Mia Hamm's book, I decided I was going to be a pro and it "only" took me 11 years to do it. “Only” is a joke. The bigger the goal, the more you must put into it! Time and care is important. Your success will not be overnight. They will be an accumulation of all the small things built up over time. Use time to your advantage.

When you change, everything else changes for you. 

Your world is infinite and ever expanding if your mind cooperates with you. I am a firm believer that you can have anything and do anything in this life. Your only limitations are the ones you set for yourself. So, be strong in your “why’s” and your reasons. Love every moment of your life. Be thankful for every day because you get to wake up and live. I wish you the BEST on your journey, soccer and everything else. Live your dreams. Persist. Believe. Let your challenges grow you as a person. Embrace them. YOU CAN DO IT. So, go on and do it! 

See you when I see you & God bless you on this journey!

Ashleigh